My husband came downstairs after going to be to show me something. His brother was renting his family’s beach house. Correction – his brother was renting his beach house. Somewhere in the mix of all of the things my hubby and I have done to fail my mother-in-law, Continue reading
You are a fat old woman, she says as I look at myself in the mirror. Fat and stupid and careless. You don’t deserve to eat, she tells me as my stomach rumbles. It rumbles because I purged tonight. I took my kids to dinner Continue reading
My weight has been bothering me as of late, which should not be much of a surprise. Although I came through my surgery ok, it took me really the last five weeks to fully recover, and even then I’m often tired. It’s also been the start of the academic year, my kids started a new school, and so everything for me is in turmoil. I look at my now pouchy stomach Continue reading
When I was about 8, I came home from school and complained to my mom about some of the kids who were teasing me. I’d just started a new school where I barely knew anyone, and I felt isolated and alone. My mother listened to me for a moment, and gave me two pieces of Mom-Wisdom that hit me at my core, because when you are 8 and your mom tells you something, She Must Be Right. She’s Mom. She’s a superhero. Listen closely to her Mom-Wisdom. Continue reading
One of the hardest things about having an ED is the lies you tell your family, your friends, coworkers/fellow students, medical professionals, and of course, yourself. I’m just at the point where I’m telling a few close friends – and I think this is hilarious, given I’ve had ED with me in some form or another for almost 30 years. Each lie is different. With friends, it’s pretty easy. “I have a sensitive stomach,” or “I have food allergies,” or everyone’s favorite, “I just ate.” Coworkers don’t really care unless they’re nosy, in which case I’m not going to tell them anyway because they probably gossip. Doctors are tricky. For years I haven’t told most of my medical providers, in part because some members of my family see the same docs (e.g. my MIL, husband, and I all see the same dentist). While I’m fairly confident the doc wouldn’t betray my trust, I have zero confidence in the people who staff the office. One little slip and I’d pay for it forever.