It’s 11 o’clock, and I’m supposed to eat.

It’s 11 o’clock, and I should eat. It says so on my food plan – evening snack. My food plan that my very expensive and talented dietician developed for me that I still don’t understand. But I’m not hungry, and I don’t want to eat. Continue reading


Dietician, Take 2

I liked my previous D. She was nice and friendly, although I found it creepy to meet in a room surrounded by photos of food and that little rubber play food that looks like a combination between vomit and bad Chinese food. Continue reading

Lost in the wide weird world

I saw T today – not my usual day, but she’s going on vacation (grr – happy for her, not happy for me, but whatever).  We were talking about how I amazingly went to three parties this weekend and didn’t purge, largely because I planned ahead on stress (I ran) and food (I tried to eat before and after but that didn’t go as swimmingly as I’d hoped).  But I didn’t purge.  *bow and clap*

She got that look on her face – you know the look.  Not judgmental, because that doesn’t work with me.  Not scolding… just…. curious.  And so she carefully asked me why I didn’t get around to eating after yesterday’s party even though I’d barely eaten all day.  And I had some lame comments but not really excuses… until I said in frustration that I’m tired of having to plan my food all of the time.  I wish I could just have an IV hooked to my body and never have to eat.  That earned me the double-eyebrow-raise.  And T doesn’t do that often.   Continue reading